4/29/02
Subject: a poor attempt at humor in this week's newsletter
hey everyone, i just wanted to inform you of a few issues: i have realized that i have been way too serious in my earlier emails, and today, due to no
particular reason at all, just for my own little ego boost, i have decided to take the gloves off and try to make this newsletter a bit more enjoyable for the rest of the year...
i am now boycotting the shift key on the keyboard here, so don't expect to see any capital letters in this email... grrrr....
i have begun to go through the email inbox and clean out emails starting with ones from about four years ago. in the process, i managed to read the old newsletters, and i noticed something about a 'submission box'. my submission is to get a submission box. .. does anyone know where the old one went and why i wasnt informed 'oops can't use the shift key for a question mark 'or parentheses', hmmm that does come in handy sometimes' maybe the old box is down in the basement of one of the residence halls or something, keeping company with our missing easel, maybe...
i have come to another conclusion that we need quotes-courtesy of the past newsletter writers julie and some others as well- so anyone who wants to submit any thing- put it in my box....
if anyone would like to read some of the old newsletters, i have printed them off and am going to put them temporarily in the webpage folder.
reading emails just gave me so many ideas... what does everyone think of me making a quotes page for the webpage ' maybe this boycott wasn't such a good idea' so that their quotes can be immortalized on the 'net.
email responsesto;snipes54228.thelittleatsign.yahoo.com
'ok i do need the shift'
i will take past ones from the past newsletters too for the web if people want
one final thing; we will be having an e-board meeting at 6ish; you know the time and the place
and right after, we will be having a cleaning out the office party at the end of the hall on third floor salisbury
okay, okay, okay we had elections last week also, i suspect i should
mention those as well. laura matyas is the treasurer, brenda kaebisch is the programmer, amber gerber is the vice pres, and yours truly is the president
and as the president i would like to say one thing
'NO NEW TAXES'
oh you think i just used the shift key there, huh... well, i cheated and used the caps lock, so ha ha ha...
and that, ladies and gentlemen, would be all
mike
i am also taking donations to the 're-elect the dictator 'cough', i mean president fund'. never too early to plan for next year's election....
maybe next week's news will be live, idea courtesy of julie glokobar
5/6/02
newsletter
Hello, everyone! It is nearing the end of our school year, and the endless barrage of newsletters has not stopped yet...
The first issue I would like to discuss in this newsletter is the possible formation of the Get A New Keyboard Or At Least Replace The Right Shift Key Committee (or GANKOALRTRSKC if you like nifty anacronyrns) .
If anyone would like to assist in this committee or be the chairperson, please respond to this email address. I would like to hear feedback on this issue of campus-wide importance.
Meandering over to my mailbox. ... Seeing i have no quotes to include... Looking for the closest quotes possible... Ah, here we go: (from my Santana CD)
It's sort of fitting for today and sort of fitting for forensics maybe? (Well, even if it isn't, I'm too lazy to find anything else, sorry)
"Man it's a hot one Like seven inches from a midday sun the words I hear you whisper and melt everyone
But you stay so cool" -Rob Thomas
Yes, we should all "stay so cool".
to those who haven't heard about this or need a reminder, we are having our picnic at the lawcon picnic area by wells hall 'i have officially given up on using the shift key again' from 5-Spm on friday, may 10th. please try to rsvp to the office 'x5259' by wednesday. it'll be great...
a special thank you to all who helped or are helping clean out the office. it looks great 'exclamation point'
it looks spectacular 'exclamation point' it looks empty....
the team went to the snappers game on friday... i hear it was a lot of fun, although a bit cold.
i don't know if there is a general member meeting this wednesday at 7, but i think this saying is fitting...
'when in doubt, just show up'
i know i will....
before i finish, i must beg, plead, and implore you to bring me quotes for the next newsletter, be they funny, poigniant, or related to forensics
even.
all for now
mike
5/6/02
Re:
newsletter
Mike,
I would like to be on the board of directors of the "Get A New Keyboard And Burn The Old One" Comittee.
I can't remember any Forensics-related quotes right now, but here's a finals-related one from those fine Canadian musicians the Barenaked Ladies: "Who needs sleep? No, you're never gonna get it. Who needs sleep? Tell me, what's that for?"
Thanks,
Christine
5/13/02
Final newsletter of the year
Hello and Goodbye, Forensics team. . . .
Yes, this is the last newsletter of the year and yes, it is live. so any mistakes i make will show up. . .. i am doint doing i mean this for a lug laugh in the style of Julie Glokobar. (llook up lug in the dictionary once, i dont think itll be in there) There's not too much to talk about, other than the reminder that the forensics offric e and yes, the office is moving too to Heide hall. 113A. The phone number x5259 will be the same. If anyone wanted to help out with the movin' (okay now im usin' Slanglish) MOVE IN day, please email me at snipes54228@yahoo.com ASAP. I am so far the only person helping out, but anyone who wants to join in at this point may yet be able to join up. I believe you get a free meel and yes, fee
rrrrrr free food too. (I see why thses... these things are so
funny manbye 'manbye- a guy saying good bye?' maybe just not to
me right now ) As I look aroung ... As I look around the old foresnics
office, a tear comes to my eye. ... hmmm.. maybe its just from the dust
flying around from the stuff we moved. .. Well anyway If therea are
any emeergencies or emergensy or emergenci or emb or.. ... emergency questions, i mean... email me at the address above.
'julie-I give you credit, that's not as easy as it looks"
Have a good summer all....
Mike
5/13/02
Final newsletter of the year
In my haste and yes, my lack of thought to some degree, while I was rushing to put out the 'live' newsletter as quick as i could, I fog forgot to include quotes! So, cur courtesy of Christine Grna Granger 'sorry Chir Christine' 'ug!' 'Christine i hope your middle name is Grna' I am including this quote"
"Who needs sleep? No, you're never gonna get it. Tell me, what's that for?"
-barenaked ladies
Who needs sleep?
also a petition was made to change the name of the committee i prob proposed: again, courtesy of Christine:
Get A New Keyboard And Burn The Old One or (GANKABTOO) for you acronym buffs... .
sounds like some kind of band name or something.....
mike
Date: March 26-30
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> SUBJECT: Forensics Pi Kap Baltimore Newsletter
CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT
The XXXXXXXXX team went to XXXXXXXXXXX on XXXXXX XXXX to XXXXXXXXXX. They XXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXX. Everyone XXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXX, but XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX not XXXXXXXX XX XXXXX. We XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX on XXXXXXXX but XXXXXXXX able XX XXXX XXXXX XXXX. Sadly XXXXXXXX XXXXX XXX XX XXXX us, XXX we XXX see XXXX XXXXXX and XXX some XXXX quotes
(Initialize Decoder)
(continue to next section of document)
Hello, everyone!
This is your Team President, writing to tell you about all the things that occurred on our little trip to Baltimore. We took a plane from Milwaukee to St. Louis on Wednesday and arrived in Baltimore on Wednesday night. We ended up eating supper at Carrabba's, an Italian restaurant which (to Jeanine's dismay) did not have cannoli desserts. The next morning (bright and EARLY at 6AM- 5AM back here in Wisconsin) (little inside joke there) we went to Morgan State University to have our first rounds of competition. Later on that night, we drove to the Inner Harbor to see the sights
and visit the Hard Rock Cafe. We walked around for a while to see everything, including some of the ships that were in the harbor. We arrived back fashionably late and made a very brief appearance at the student mixer. Sadly, we had discovered that Jeanine had to judge on Friday, even
though the rest of us didn't have any rounds. It was decided that the three of us would go into Washington DC on Friday. We caught some trains into DC and were able to see most of the monuments and take some pictures. I don't know if it was because we were in DC with all the politicians, but there was an outbreak of political correctness on the trip. We did not run into any protesters in Washington, just "a person trying to make a political statement". Also, it was discovered the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were actually "young adult genetically altered martial artist reptiles" and there was an occurrence of "cerebral flatulence" (I'll let you figure that one out). There wasn't enough time to check out the museums since we arrived there at 10 and everything closed at 5:30. We caught the trains back to Baltimore and ended up going to eat supper at around 10pm, since there weren't many affordable or quick options available for us (aside from the street vendors). We ate at another Italian restaurant which had cannoli, but (to Jeanine's dismay) they were out. Maybe it could be called the Curse of the Cannoli, I don't know.... Saturday was our last day
of competition. The Pi Kap organization held the awards banquet on Saturday night. Sadly, we did not bring home any awards, but our team had a great time competing and enjoyed the trip. Sunday we flew back here, just in time for... classes on Monday. Yay. And now, I suppose, for the thing you have all been waiting for: THE QUOTES! If you skipped this just to read the quotes, shame on you. Well, I suppose you wouldn't be reading this anyway then, so you wouldn't know this... Oh never mind. On to the quotes:
In no particular order....
It's a good thing I remembered some of these because I had no paper a certain day, and some people didn't want to give me any :-)
Before I write these down, I would just like to say that many things said in Baltimore should probably have stayed in Baltimore and should not be repeated EVER EVER EVER again. That being said.... HERE ARE THE QUOTES!
"This smells like a carwash." - one of a pair of twin boys in the ladies room in St. Louis.
"I think the road signs are just suggestions..." -Jeanine's comment on the driving situation.
"Yuck! I hate this!"- Jeanine's further comment on the driving situation.
"They're worse than the Flatlanders!" -Amber
"The speed limit is done by averages" -Jeanine
"Forensics and manslaughter do not mix" -Mike
"Oh wait- maybe they do- that other kind of forensics" -Mike (upon later reflection)
"Look at all the forensics people dressed up. I look like Gilligan" -Amber
"We should stay in the car so when they're towing it we know where it is" -Mike
"Let's go make trouble for an hour" -Jeanine
"Let's talk about SOCKS! -Amber
"My mind is perpetually in the gutter and sometimes it even goes from the gutter into the street" -Mike
"We saw the 'sights'" -Mike
"If I had a sock, I would be free" -Amber
"I'm not the president, I'm the dictator" -Amber
"Da"- a little girl who thought Mike was her dad and then realized he wasn't and ran away.
"It's a goose!" -Amber
"Uranus is that way" -Amber
"Do they ever go to the bathroom?" -Amber
"If you two weren't discussing the positioning of the thighs..." -Brenda
"Words can't describe how I wanted to go to the shoe store." -Mike
"My suit wouldn't look the same without a pair of high heels." -Mike
"That little kid has a bullet?" -Jeanine
"Gosh, Brenda, you live in a brothel." -Amber
"I don't... rrr... uh... yeah.... No." -Mike (denying accusations)
"I do not have a problem with quotes." -Mike
"I can quit at any time." -Mike
"Do you want to make a bet?" -Brenda
I have made the conclusion that quotes are what inevitably happens when forensicators are together for long periods of time.
AND that's it! Look for your next regularly scheduled email from Emmitt!
Oh yes, in keeping with classified documents, you should probably shed this and eat it. (just kidding!)
Mike Wessely
Team President
PS. The meeting tomorrow is at 6:30pm and is combined e-board and general member, just to clarify- there won't be separate meetings.
9/12/2002
Hello everyone! I wanted to inform you all of a few things
for those who were wondering. Our two new member meetings/general member meetings
will be on Tuesday, the 17th from 5-6 and Wednesday, the 18th from
7:30-8:30. Please mark your calendars for the start of the forensics season and
bring your questions if you have them. Our e-board positions have been
filled now, and we have two new member liaisons. One will be in charge of
the webpage design and the other will be in charge of email. Finally, I
thought I would throw in a quote from our VP.
"Everything's in walking distance, you just have to start earlier." -Amber
Mike
12/16/2004
Hi everyone (E-BOARD THIS MEANS YOU TOO!!!!)
Alumni can skip this section:
this is your forensics president. I have the sanction of Member
Liaison Shauna to type you a few words this evening. First and most
importantly, I need to know what days and times are good and which are bad for
meetings next semester. Please respond either to the forensics account
or my personal account at snipes54228@yahoo.com by TUESDAY, DECEMBER
21. At that time, I will be leaving campus until I return on the 3rd. I
plan to set up meeting times on that Tuesday. Thus, if you do not
respond, I cannot take your schedule into consideration. I try my best to
find a time that works for mostly everyone.
If you commute, I understand your difficulties, but then please let me
know times that will work for you (for example- if you don't plan on
attending a 7pm meeting even if it would fit your schedule, then don't
say that 7pm meetings will work for you please-)
-----------------------------------------
Alumni can start reading -and the rest of you better keep reading!!!
:-)
A Holiday Note:
I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holidays. I hope you all do
well with the rest of your exams and drive home safely. I also wanted to
let you all know that I am so proud and excited for what our team has
accomplished so far this year. We've had several people win awards and
an amazing amount of involvement on the part of everyone this semester.
Let's keep this going and have to take a large van, two vans, or hey-
even both to our tournaments next semester. Let's make it so we have to
take a bus to Pi Kap AND NFA Nationals (if things work out
financially)! Next semester will be my last semester working with the team, as my
eligibility will be used up and I'm hoping it will be the best one yet!
Keep it going everyone!!!
A Holiday Song (THE SURPRISE!):
On one recent forensics trip at roughly one in the morning, with the
help of our fellow forensicator Alumni Sonny, we created a holiday song:
(clears throat)
On the first day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
A Pi Kappa Delta Key
On the second day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Two black books
On the third day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Three bad ballots
On the fourth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Four hours in a van
On the fifth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Five visual aids
On the sixth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Six double beds
On the seventh day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Seven slot entries
On the eighth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Eight schematics
On the ninth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Nine bucks for dinner
On the tenth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Ten black book pages
On the eleventh day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Eleven source citations
And on the twelfth day of forensics, my coach gave to me....
Twelve hours of coaching!!!
I hope you all were singing along... or at least reading along....
Happy Holidays!
President Mike
P.S. Alumni please send me any info about yourselves you would like on
the team web page- examples: photos, personal webpage links, summaries
about life, forensics experience, or simply general ramblings.
P.S. #2
Team members please remember to email me good and bad days and times
for meetings before next Tuesday. This is VERY IMPORTANT!
Thanks!